Here's the first big lesson: PLEASE MAKE REALLY SURE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT THE PRINCIPAL WANTS BEFORE ANYONE ASKS YOU TO DECIDE SOMETHING.

When the doctors call you up in the middle of the night and ask whether or not they should put your parent on a ventilator (which means they stick a tube down into the lungs and a machine does the breathing), you really ought to have had that discussion before the call. Saying "NO" may well mean that your parent won't make it through the night. Saying "YES" may well mean that your parent gets stuck in the ICU, unconscious, with a machine doing the breathing....for a very long time, or maybe forever. 

Here's the second big lesson: YOU MAY NEED TO REALLY FIGHT WITH THE DOCTORS TO GET WHAT YOUR PRINCIPAL WANTS.

The doctors may call you and ask what to do. But if you're not there, they may very well do what they think should be done, regardless of what you've told them. More on this tomorrow. 

The cost basis is the dollar amount the asset was worth when you purchased an item (with certain adjustments), and it's that value that the IRS uses to determine if there's been a gain or a loss on the sale. You pay capital gains taxes on the difference between the cost basis and the sales price. A higher basis means less of a gain when you sell, if the value of the asset has gone up.

The stepped-up basis was a big tax break for heirs. What it meant is that if your mother left you a house worth $1 million dollars that she purchased for $100,000 and then you turned around a sold it for $1 million dollars, you'd owe ZERO capital gains tax on that sale. And it was an unlimited tax-break, you got that step-up on all of the assets inherited at death.

But not this year. Now, each taxpayer is limited to $1.3 million dollars worth of a stepped-up basis. It will be their executor's job to allocate that to particular assets, like a house, and therefore to specific heirs. There's also a $3 million step-up available to spouses for appreciated assets. But all other assets are to be valued at their original value.

So, if your father purchased stock in IBM for a pittance in 1963, you're going to have to find out what that was and pay capital gains on the difference between that value and what you're selling it for today. That's called a carry-over basis, and it is going to make accountants and heirs nuts as they try and figure out what the original values are for long-ago purchased assets. Not to mention how much fun it will be to pay all those captial gains taxes.

To read more about this, read Kathleen Pender's good summary from the SF Chronicle.

In 2011, unless Congress acts, the estate tax is scheduled to come back at levels not seen since 2001 (the tax would fall on any estate worth more than 1 million dollars and at rates ranging from 37% to 55%). The current law, passed in 2001, expires in 2011, so the tax comes back at 2001 levels, with an adjustment for inflation.

If that's not odd enough, most congressional watchers predict that Congress will actually pass a law re-instating the tax that will be retroactive to January 1, 2010 (so, as a matter of reality, there will be no actual repeal whatsoever!)

Which is to say that no one really knows what will happen over the next few months. But certainly, something will. I'll keep you posted.

For more, see this article in the Wall Street Journal, which offers a nice summary of the current state of affairs.

But organ donation is not a simple issue, and many have to wait for months or years for a suitable organ. A recent article in the Ohio Dayton Daily News reports that 54% percent of those eligible people are registered to donate organs (which means that close to half of those that could register to donate, don't). That puts Ohio ahead of most of the nation, though.

Nationally, according to the non-profit group Donate Life, only 38% of drivers have registered to be organ donors, more than 100,000 people are awaiting a donated organ, and 18 people die each day waiting for available organs.

The article listed the following reasons why people choose not to register:

• Concerns about bodily integrity.
• Worries that signing a donor card may 'jinx' them.
• Mistrust of doctors and fear that they won't get proper care if they are registered organ donors.
• Religion.

To learn how to register to donate organs in your state, go to www.donatelife.net or www.facebook.com/donatelife.

First, Leona Helmsley died and left her 5 billion dollar fortune to be used to help dogs. Then, the trustees of the estate sued to change that and use only a small fraction of the fortune for dogs, and the rest for human philanthropic causes. Now, three large animal rights groups are appealing that decision and asking the New York Surrogate's Court to intervene and force the trustees to use more of the money to help dogs, in accordance with Leona Helmsley's wishes.

 "Just a fraction of the money involved in Mrs. Helmsley's estate is a game-changer for animal welfare," says Marsha Perelman, ASPCA Board Chair. "The fate of dogs in this country could very well rest on the decision of this lawsuit--it is that critical."

At the same time, by all accounts, his last year was mostly a good one, filled with family, attention to the things that mattered most to him, and the opportunity to die where he wished to be.

It's a last year that many would hope for. But not all are able to enjoy. Sometimes it takes an advocate within the medical establishment to help families find peace and comfort at the end of life. Not all doctors are trained to deliver bad news at all, let alone to do so tactfully and with full recognition of what it means.

The New York Times recently ran a long article about a branch of medicine dedicated to helping more people end their lives with dignity and comfort. If you or your family find yourself dealing with end of life care, find out if there's a palliative care physician available in your health plan, and take advantage of their training. Their focus is on comfort at end of life, not aggresive medical intervention that will ultimately only prolong, not prevent, death.

But here's a new wrinkle--until 2005 most states collected a share of the federal estate taxes collected. But when that 'pick-up' tax expired, they began imposing estate taxes of their own to make up for that lost revenue.

Currently, 16 states and the District of Columbia impose their own separate estates taxes. And several states (Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Maryland, Nebraska, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Tennessee) also impose an inheritance tax. This falls on those who receive the money when someone dies. And, in many instances, the limit for tax-free transfers for both state tax regimes is less than that federal limit. Which means it's possible for an estate to be free of the federal estate tax while being subject to state estate tax or inheritance taxes.

So, for those doing estate planning in these states, make sure to consider the state angle when considering the probable taxes your heir may face.  

There are times, though, when probate can be an appropriate place to settle an estate, and Michael Jackson's might be the poster child for these cases -- when there are messy creditor claims to sort out. Like a bankruptcy court, a probate proceeding is place where creditors and their claims (and we won't even mention the guardianship issues being raised right now) can be sorted out by a court, in a set period of time and with finality.

The AP has published a good article if you're trying to sort out whether a will or trust makes more sense for your family. Briefly, though, if you live in a state (like California) where probate is expensive and time-consuming, if you want to leave everything to your kids, if you own a home, and if you don't have complex credit issues, a trust is generally a great long-term investment.

Since this (to put it mildly) is getting a lot of media attention, here's the legal background:

A guardian is in charge of a minor's care and custody, which means their food, clothing, shelter, education and medical needs. A guardian has to be appointed by a court order -- it's a kind of custody order really, granting someone other than a parent legal authority over a minor's care. If there's an emergency, a court can grant a temporary guardianship quickly.

But between now and the hearings, Katherine Jackson will have to do her best to find and notify Deborah Rowe, the mother of Jackson's two eldest children (his youngest was born to a surrogate mother who presumably waived any parental rights as part of the surrogacy).  At the hearing, a judge will consider what would be in the best interest of Jackson's children. The notification of the children's mother is required in order to make sure that she has a chance to object to the guardianship at that hearing -- ordinarily, a parent has precedence over anyone else unless there are unusual circumstances, which abound here.

If Michael Jackson's will is found, and proved to be his valid last wishes, and the nominated guardian is not Katherine Jackson, the named person may contest the guardianship proceeding, too. But ultimately, it will be up to the judge to sort out the competing claims and decide what's best for the children.

It is reported that the petition also requested that Katherine Jackson be named the temporary guardian of the children's estate,  which means the person responsible for safeguarding Jackson's assets for the benefit of the children -- but this was rejected. AP also reports that Katherine Jackson has filed to be named the administrator of Jackson's estate -- the person who must inventory and appraise the estate's assets and manage them during what's likely to be a long and complicated probate proceeding.

Roth IRAs, for those of you in need of a quick review, are retirement savings accounts where you pay the income taxes due when you contribute to the account -- then, it grows virtually tax-free and your withdrawals are also tax-free (but you don't get the income tax deduction when you contribute the money).

So, for those of you whose traditional IRAs are now worth far less than they used to be worth (that's the bad news part), converting to a Roth IRA in 2010 could be a great idea: Since the account is now worth so much less, the taxes on the conversion will also be much less than they might have been, and if tax rates go up in the future, as many predict they will, you'll have already paid the taxes due on the account.

For a good article on the ins and outs of the new rules, see this article from the Wall Street Journal online.

• Put their cell phone and landline on the FTC's Do Not Call Registry at https://www.donotcall.gov/.
• Call the AARP's Fraud Fighter Call Center at 1-800-646-2283.
• Put scam mailings into an envelope and forward them to the Postal Inspector-Suspected Mail Fraud -- no postage is required.

Self-help is a great option, of course. But for those who want a real-live person to sit down, review your finances, and either make suggestions on what to do better or take over  management of your assets, buyer beware. Financial planners are poorly regulated, poorly credentialed, and your remedies against a crooked one are few.

SmartMoney magazine has a great article on how to be an informed consumer. Here are some of the highlights:

• Find out how long the planner's been practicing. Better yet, ask them if they've passed the CFP (Certified Financial Planner) exam -- that's an exam that only 56,000 planners have passed out of the 650,000 folks out there who say they are financial planners.
• Notice if they are trying to give you advice or trying to sell you products. Stay away from those who are primarily selling products -- the odds are that they're steering you toward products that get them maximum compensation rather than those that will meet your needs best.
• Ask them if they are preparing your financial plan or hire outside consultants to do so.
• Find out how they are compensated. Are they fee-only or commission-based? It's not that one is necessarily better than another, but it's important to understand how they are being paid and to make sure that they will act in your, not their, best interests.
• Check with the SEC to see if they have received any complaints about the planner.
  

The proposal is just one of many in the 651-page bill, which also includes changes to the way that health insurance is offered and taxed.

Collectibles dealer John Stasso amassed a large private collection worth millions, consisting of manuscripts, ancient books, artifacts, and antiquities that began with a trip to Italy in 1958. When his son, Joseph Sisto, realized that many of the artifacts had been illegally smuggled out of Italy, he confronted his father.  When Joseph found out that his father had died, he immediately called the police. Two hours later, the FBI arrived, along with specialists who will inspect and return the artifacts to Italy, many of which hadn't been seen for a very long time.

"It's a huge relief," said Joseph, "because as much as I love my... family, this will also help them... They won't have to live with the oppression of thinking they have stolen or smuggled goods... It's sort of like trying to own a Mona Lisa in your house, you know."

Family members, her beloved Chihuahua, Seri, and a physician were with her when she died, according to Compassion & Choices Washington, the organization that sponsored the measure, which was adopted by Washington voters in November.